Yes, what AM I doing in Redmond? I mean, OBVIOUSLY, with the car that I have, I have absolutely NO business trapsing around amongst such high society. You know, as soon as I get within the city limits, I'm going to rape your daughters, and possibly a son or two. Yes, yes sir, I am still living in Tacoma, Washington. Just dropping my friend off after seeing a movie in Seattle. Ohhh, you don't say! Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.
We're on 520, going back to drop Kon off in my Camaro, and I get a sense from the car behind me that it's most likely a cop. Something inside me told me it would be a pretty good idea to slow down, as the car to my left never passed me, no matter how much under the 60 MPH speed limit I creeped. I couldn't REALLY tell if it was a cop, with how dark it was, but I thought I could make out the lights on top of the car. And, just as soon as I'd said something to Kon and made up my mind that it was, in fact, a cop, those lights started flashing and I pulled my ass over.
As with every other time I've been pulled over, I make sure to have EVERYTHING out for the cop, with the window already rolled down and my hands where they can be seen. I'm no African American, but I just don't trust the swine.
Tells me my, now get this, license plate lights are out. He couldn't read my license plate number. I've already told you I wasn't speeding; I was going between 45 and 50 MPH. I wasn't swerving, as I've got the driving abilities of a GOD. A god who's really good at driving. Driverous, God of the Asphalt. Now, if I'm not breaking any driving laws, then why is this guy just randomly checking out my car? Washington Plates, tabs have been paid, I'm as white as he is (not to be making any offense here, but let's face it, whitey got it good in many ways). He wanted to know why I was going to Redmond.
DAMN YOU!!! VEHICULAR DISCRIMINATION! VEHICULAR PROFILING! THIS IS ABUSE! I'LL GET THE ACLU AND SUE YOUR HONKY ASSES!
What, a guy with a shitty car can't be livin' in Redmond? Damn Yuppie ass city.
"You're nothing but a loud-mouthed Schnook!"
Current Mood: Hang-nails suck
Current Music: Black Crowes - My Morning Song
I hope you learned your lesson
(Anonymous)
2004-07-01 02:20 am UTC
We do our best to keep the riff raff out.
Re: I hope you learned your lesson
(Anonymous)
2004-07-01 09:07 pm UTC
Since you drive an American made car with a heavy engine, the pukes in Redmond probably figured you to be a real man. And God knows there ain't one real man living in Redmond. Cop probably figured you to be a rapist or threat to the civil society that is Redmond.