I was drunk when I typed out this joke. This is me correcting my misspellings.

2:06 am, August 17, 2004

So, I'm at a party, and I meet a pirate. How often do you meet a pirate at a party, you know? So, I'm curious, so I go up and talk to the pirate. You know, he's got the peg leg, the hook, the eyepatch, the parrot, the whole garb. So I ask him, "How'd you get the wooden leg?"

And he tells me, "You know how you board a ship and you throw the hooks over to hook the ships together to make the ships easier to board? Well, I got a little anxious. And, well I tried to jump over to the ship and I missed and, well, I got my leg caught in between." So, I was like, well that's cool, so I asked him about the hook.

The pirate said, "Well, the guy was gonna shoot me with a musket, but I blocked it with my hand. And, well, it blew off my hand."

I said, "Oh, well, that sucks."

Later on, I asked him, "So, Pirate man, how'd you get the eye patch?"

The pirate said, "You know, I was sittin' on the beach one day, laying in the sun, and a bird shat in my eye."

And I said, "Huh, that's kinda funny, because, you know, birdshit doesn't take out your eye."

And the pirate said, "Well ... that was the first day I had the hook."

Current Mood: Pirate pisses on my face
Current Music: Where'd you get the Canadian Tuxedo?

you asked for it pirate boy
2004-08-17 03:22 pm
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.-
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Re: you asked for it pirate boy
2004-08-17 04:00 pm
DAMN YOU!!!! I'll catch you one of these days!!!