This is an open ad to anyone who's seen me naked ....

5:16 pm, August 23, 2004

Now, I don't think there were many of you, mind, but it has been brought to my attention that I've been a very ... cheeky boy.

There was that going-away party for Mark and Mario that started at the Emigrant and ended at Tommys. For those of you who made it all the way to Tommys saw me at one of my most drunkest (the qualifying "most" being necessary since I'm almost always at my drunkest). Damn Mark and Damn Diamond Diggity Dave were talking shit about the Seahawks, as you all know, these Sloane boys have it in their heads that the Steelers are some kind of good team or something. Of course, Matt was no help as he's about anti-Seahawk as they come, what with us stealing his favorite head coach and DESTROYING his Packers in the preaseason of this year.

So, I'd finally had it and blew my top. Yelling and ranting and raving as I paid for my drinks and left the establishment. Evidently, somewhere in there I felt a mooning was in order. Down came the pants and . . . oops, down went the boxers as well! Well, you know me, when you've got lemons, do a little naked booty dance and see what ELSE is shakin'!

Yes, it figures, I had NO idea I did this (although, at the moment, the fazed memory is starting to come back, little by little). And then I get a postcard from one Mario Leon-Guerrero who brought it to my attention - like I'd actually remembered this event - that the Speedo-Men in Italy remind him a lot of me that night at Tommys, although the Speedo-Men "still have to shed a lot more clothes to catch up to" me.

If any of you happened to witness this extravagant event, feel free to drop me a line telling me how much you may have seen. If any of you know anyone who happened to see it, or perhaps catch it on camera, I'd like to know before I see myself on Wild Discovery or Real TV or some other fucked up media outlet. I've gotta say (that is, if I ever do see the Grog tape) that this performance may have just ran to my all time top drunken exhibitions Number One Position.

Of course, if any of you would like to know what it's like to see me naked and are too bashful to ask the man himself, you could always ask Mark or Mario or anyone else who claims to know exactly how much pubic hair I choose to sport. Don't worry, I won't mind.

Current Mood: You Crapped All Over My Heart
Current Music: Rollins Band - Gun In Mouth Blues

Who do you think you are?
2004-08-24 11:20 pm
Lance Peteman?

Re: Who do you think you are?
2004-08-25 10:21 pm
No, this is Lance Peteman. Who the fsck is taking credit for me? Steve, check my IP address. Then you'll see!

Oh Dear
2004-08-25 02:05 pm
I would much rather have seen your kaboose than kon's hairy crack! Eww! Get a razor Kon! And maybe a two-way mirror...