It's a fact!.

2:09 pm, September 5, 2004

Hey, guess what. Kon's a huge ass!

Now, I know what you're thinking, "We already knew that!"

Now, I'll give you that, but utterly and truly, Kon has never sucked as many balls for as long as he did last night.

Here we are, just me, Jake and Kon, playing 7's. It's a drinking game where you can dole out extended amounts of drinks to the people you're playing against. So, of course, completely unprovoked as always, Kon decides it's time to fuck me up. He's giving me seven, eight, ten drinks and giving Jake zero or AT THE MOST one. But, those one's were on the VERY rare occasion. Meanwhile, Jake's not drunk, I'm hammered, Kon's a huge vage who can't handle his drinking games so he's completely gone of course, but on about half of the beer I've consumed so far. And what do I do? Do I dish out eight, nine, ten drinks back to Kon? No, because Jake's practically sober and it's MY job to make sure everyone's drunk by the time the night's done.

However, I will say this, and this is no vindication of Kon's ass-foolery, but the arm was feeling VERY good after I had all that Milwaukee's Best Ice (which, incidently, is the BEST Ice beer I've ever had and has just crossed the threshold of Natty Ice's dominance).

So, we finally got Kon's pussy ass to come down to Tacoma for some Backyard Baseball action. Game one, I started, Kon was on my team, vs. Jake and my brother. We took 'em to task, with me going the complete game, winning 9-6. That ran my overall record to 20-0. Oh REALLY? Yes, I AM that good, even though Kon'll tell you he had 9 RBI in that game, I'm here to tell you that I accounted for AT LEAST six of those runs. My on base dominance makes Ichiro WISH he was as good as me.

Game two, I started again with Jake on my team vs. Kon and my brother. Well, I got off to a shakey start, giving up a grand slam (which BARELY got over the fence) to the C-man in the first inning. Jake and I were down 5-0 just like that, but, just like that, against my brother's pitching, we were up 7-5 after the second inning. In comes Konstantin to pitch. Well, suffice it to say, their pitching was shit, so I could afford to give up the most runs of the year (10 earned, 12 total). Yes, THAT'S RIGHT, I won again. Me and Jake slugged away for 19 runs in winning 19-12. I had my second complete game of the day and ran my record to 21-0.

So, E-Rok and the Vers want to challenge my dominance. Hey, bring 'em on! I've got enough juice to blister my 50-60 mile per hour fastball for 18 Backyard Baseball Innings! Yeah, you know you're impressed with my arm's power, it took YEARS of masturbating to get it where it's at today!

Current Mood: Everybody wants to be all naked ... and famous
Current Music: The Walkmen - The Rat

2004-09-07 09:46 pm UTC guys are such cute butt-buddies. I love it!