Sleep Deprived, Nap Engulfed.

2:54 pm, September 23, 2004

You know, I like that Step By Step show and all, but when Cody's not in the episode, I just turn off. I mean, it's during Al's pre-pubescent stage, so she's not all hot or anything. I mean, really, what is there to offer the pedophile with a conscience?

So, it's a little after 2pm and I've still not left the house. I saw the outside world a couple times, but that was just to let my dog outside to pee. It's this damned book! The final Dark Tower book by Stephen King. The world's crumbling to an end and I've got a butt-numbing front-row seat. Seriously, there is NOT a comfortable spot to read in this room. With the window closed, it's a humid 80 degrees in here, but all I've got for a bed is the floor. But, whenever I lie down to start on the next hundred pages, my head hits the pillow and all I wanna do is sleep!

((It's gettin' to be re-Goddamned-diculous))

But, I guess there's nothing I can really do but muddle through. After all, seeing this book through to the end is number 4 on the list of things I've got to live to see. That would be just after seeing the current president out of office and just before the new Guns N' Roses album in record stores.

The rest of the list contains, in no particular order: Seeing the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, seeing the release of all the Kennedy Assassination documents, seeing Britney Spears in an issue of Playboy before she hits the wall, seeing my name in print (and NOT followed by the words, "Went Crazy, 19 Dead), and seeing myself in a bed with two real life naked chicks with me. It might be a while on that last one.

In other news, our band finally has the setlist of cover songs (yes, a few of them ARE duveys).

We'll start out with an Acoustic set, featuring

Tenacious D - Karate ***
Violent Femmes - Country Death Song ***
Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street ***
Pink Floyd - Goodbye Blue Sky
Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
White Stripes - We're Going To Be Friends ***
Johnny Cash - Hurt

Then, I'll go on an extended drum solo as the roadies bring in my drum kit (for the acoustic sets, I'll be using my djimbey - pronounced jim-bay), while Kon and Jake are down in the Poon-Pit getting their mojo on with the dozens of groupies we'll give Poon-Passes to.

Back on stage for the Electric set which goes as follows:

Survivor - Eye of the Tiger (only, instead, we'll be taking their commercial "Roy" and providing all new lyrics)
Primus - Here Come The Bastards
Electric Six - Gay Bar ***
David Bowie - Space Oddity
The Ramones - California Sun

Followed by an Encore Break. That's when I get my turn in the Poon Pit. Kon and Jake will come out for extended Guitar Solos, and then, from the darkness, you'll hear me come back in with my djimbey drum as we start our Encore Acoustic Set:

Ben Harper - Burn One Down
Bob Marley - Redemption Song
Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Oh, that's right, save the crowd pleasers for the end. We'll put on the best show you'll ever see. Get in line now, ladies and gentlemen. Tickets will go on sale as soon as we learn to play the songs, take singing lessons, and build up enough massive hype to turn us into a juggernaut.

When our band, Big Sarah, finally makes it big, I won't forget the little people who made it happen. The Keebler Elves. They make a damn fine cookie, and give me the strength I need to overcome all adversity.

Now, if you don't know of these songs, I suggest you familiarize yourselves with them. ESPECIALLY the ones with the *** next to them. Those are MY picks and therefore are the best of the bunch.

Also, go ahead and take a listen to Ween - Baby Bitch and Beastie Boys - Girls. You never know when I may bust out with those (I figure, I can do "Girls" with just me and someone playing keyboard; "Baby Bitch" is a song on my list that was JUST rejected, the Sixth Man if you will).

Back to The Dark Tower. Everyone, read this series. Here are the volumes:

The Dark Tower - The Gunslinger
The Dark Tower II - The Drawing Of The Three
The Dark Tower III - The Wastelands
The Dark Tower IV - Wizard And Glass
The Dark Tower V - Wolves Of The Calla
The Dark Tower VI - Song of Susannah
The Dark Tower VII - The Dark Tower

Current Mood: Updated Website RULES
Current Music: Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp