This town, this insufferable town ....

2:47 am, October 3, 2004

I'm telling you, Tacoma is SUCKING my will to live!

I cannot harp on this enough. Whenever I get to Seattle or ANYWHERE else, it's a breath of fresh air. I'm rejuvinated, alive, party-hungry.

Then, I get back here and it drains all good will from my body. Because I know. I know I'm stuck in this house; I'm stuck without income; I'm stuck without a way out or a plan of attack. I know I've got my dreams and I know that I'm too defeated to go after them. I know I've got one friend within shouting distance of this shithole berg. And, I know that I've got the bulk of my time devoted to this room, this computer, this non-existant social life.

((God, we gotta get this kid LAID))

My sentiments exactly. It's gettin' to be re-goddamned-diculous. Seriously, if I don't see some action soon, I'm gonna start taking all this Coldplay shit to heart and become all sentimental.

Must ... cling to my ... sarcastic edge! Must not ... become desperate.

Because, that's really the major problem now, isn't it. You CAN'T be desperate in this game. It's a stink I'm all too familiar with. And it sticks to you like an unsevered umbilical chord. Isn't that what they say? Once you stop looking, once you stop trying, that's when it happens?

Well, I'm a petty, petty man. Let us not confuse desperation with impatience. I don't consider myself a POW in a Viet Cong prison. More like one of the eight people who paid to see The Punisher. I just wanna get this the fuck OVER WITH!

See, because good things don't come to those who wait. Shit comes to those who wait. Yes, you wait on the can long enough, and you'll get shit. They also have another related saying. Shit or get off the pot. Well, I've been on this fucking pot for too fucking long; I've got the hemmoroids to prove it. It's caused my brain to become deranged. As can be best sensed through this analogy here.

Well, the stomach is cramping. I don't know what that means. I think Tacoma's giving me ulcers. The bad habits are creeping back into my life as pressure mounts. If this monotony doesn't change, I mean DRASTICALLY, I think I just might, just MIGHT, lose my fucking mind.

When you see me start writing all of my entries drawkcab or in igpay atinlay, you'll know that the rooster has flown the coop and there ain't anyone at the wheel.

Current Mood: Caffeine and Nicotine
Current Music: Coldplay - Daylight