Snoochie Boochies!.

9:32 pm, October 11, 2004

It's called unchecked aggression here, Dude.

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my Toga Party Night. I'd like to start this out with an apology, but I'm gonna say this first.

A man's car ... I don't want to call it his castle, but it's something important, bitches. Now, when some dickless fucks do something to it, like key it, take the air out of the tires, or urinate on the motherfucker, you just can't respect those DICKLESS FUCKS! I say that ironically, though, because it actually required them to have that part of the male anatomy to get the spray all over the windshield among other places.

Here's who I'm calling out. Colin A (is for ASSHOLE?). Olivers: your comeuppance is coming. Eric Michael Schaar: I already got my aggression out on you, and even though the punishment doesn't fit the crime, we're square. Konstantin Rondell Zak: you got yours as well, and even though you DID pay for the top-notch car washing over at the 76 station, it's still the most dispicable thing I think I've ever had done to me. Shame on ALL of you bitches!!!

You know, there's a few things you just don't do to another guy. You don't have sex with his woman, you don't hit him in the balls unless Nate's got you in a head-lock, and you DON'T fuck with another guy's fucking CAR!

That said, I'd just like to say that I was getting word for a good portion of the night that there were "people" peeing on my car. Now, there very well could have been a lot more, considering my so-called friends weren't setting such an exquisite example. I'm sure there were some douchey frat guys and bums peeing on my car as well. Oh, and thanks to my idiot friends, they also probably found out how to unlock my door and I'm sure there are some "presents" lying in wait for me in my backseat or something.

OK, so I heard that Bianca knew who was doing it. OK, so I interrogated her, getting a tight-lipped response. OK, so I gave her ample warning, telling her if she didn't tell me, she'd get a face-full of the beer in my Powerpuff Girls Goblet. OK, so I got that smirk that said, 'You're a pussy, you'd never throw beer on me.' OK, so I threw the beer on her. And, yes, I most-likely would have gotten the information sooner or later, but I was in a state where I thought further urination could have been prevented. All that being said, I'd like to throw out the apology right now to Bianca, who evidently has more allegiance to Konstantin's dickless ass than the guy whose car is getting micturated upon (they PEED on your fucking rug? -- they peed on my fucking rug). I hereby apologize for such a heinous act on my part. Throwing beer all over you was NOT the proper response.

You know, the peeing put a whole damper on the evening, and indeed, the whole fucking weekend. I hereby declare that I shall never watch another Seattle sporting event that I have a vested interest in ever again with Nathan Myles Long. He's a leper. He's the most cancerous tumor on the throbbingest of boils that I've ever had the extreme displeasure of losing money to in my life. His sour outlook on all teams I enjoy is so overbearing that anything I love will surely wither and die. No lead is safe with the smallest amount of time remaining. Hail Mary's will be caught, half-court shots won't hit a bit of rim, David Justice will come back from the dead and kill our relievers with crushing T-shots (as opposed to the cum shots I'm going to inflict upon his mother the next time I see her for having the Anti-Steve as a son).

And, now I'm about to find out that my fantasy team's going to lose to Kon. My dog will probably die in his sleep tonight. Tomorrow morning my mom will find a lump and tomorrow night my dad will return home with pink-slip in hand.

In other news;

Sarah, Bianca's house is THAT way!

Current Mood: New Flat Screen
Current Music: Bjork - Big Time Sensuality

I'm not gonna lie to you...
2004-10-12 01:16 am
I was drinking. You know, at first I restrained myself, then you threw the hat I was wearing off the porch (I don't care that it wasn't MY hat, still a total lack of respect), and I just had enough. I'm not proud of myself, and I don't condone my actions. I apologized vehemently, and I did get you "The Works" car wash. I'll tell you, the Camaro has never sparkled more. I'm not sure there is much more a man can do.

I'm sorry
2004-10-13 04:50 pm
I'm sorry (2004)
I'm sorry too steve, I thought you could handle a little fun, I didn't know you were so touchy about the car. I didn't mean to ruin your weekend, and can't wait to see what I've got coming.