Is it Shitted Upon or Shat Upon.

1:34 am, October 12, 2004

I donít think I even have the right to blame anyone else. Everything that happens to me happens to me for a reason; and that reason is me.

See, normally, Iím the type of person who lets most everything roll off his back. I donít vent my frustration on others and I never really have. Itís not in me, itís not in my personality. I can be the most laid back guy youíll ever meet. And, that could be the problem. No, that is the problem.

Now, I canít really say I have a whole lot of experience in this realm. People, for the most part, leave me alone and I do likewise. Probably because they feel sorry for me, or they feel bad because Iím mostly a nice guy. Mostly. But, you know, every once in a while things happen like Saturday night; when people take it upon themselves to not just once, but repeatedly, and consistently, pee on my car in hopes to, I donít know, cover the entire beast with their waste.

I can understand someone being so drunk that theyíd do it once without remembering. But, when they go back for seconds and thirds and more, thatís not too drunk to remember. Thatís malicious. And, you know, itís disrespectful, but what can I expect? Iím not one who commands respect. And thatís my problem. Thatís why everything that happens to me is my fault, even though I have nothing to do with it except for parking in the wrong spot on the wrong day.

If people know they can do these things to me and get very little of a response from me in return, then whatís to stop them from doing it again? Theyíll just think that they can do anything they want and Iíll let it roll off my back and everything will be cool. And then theyíll push it a little further and a little further. And, itíll all be justified. If I didnít care before, why should I care now? Hey, urine can be washed away. Memories, especially mine, will dwindle and fade into nothingness in a very short span. All will be forgotten and all will be hunky dory until the next time someone decides to pull crap like this.

And, you know, itís just a fucking car. Why should I care about a piece of shit car that deserves little more than to be used as a public toilet?

Well, Iíve been thinking about that. Because, itís really a rediculous concept. Caring about material possessions is bullshit and I should know better. And I do know better. Because itís not the car I care all that much about. I realize that now. You know as well as I that if we all (check that, I donít even have to participate) decided to pee on someone elseís car, I wouldnít give shit one. Fuck, Iíd laugh right along with them. Because it is funny. It was a laugh riot when my aunt was changing my infant cousin and dropped her shitty diaper into someoneís convertible in the parking lot of the Tacoma Mall. Whatís even funnier is to imagine the reaction of the driver, when they return and find someoneís diaper on their driverís seat. Hey, no physical harm done, right?

I return to that lack of respect, that lack of respect I sorely deserve. I know for a fact that Iíd never pee on any of my friendsí cars. Because itís a reflection on how you feel about that person. If you canít respect someoneís things, then you damn well canít respect that person, especially if you know that they wonít do a damn thing to you in response. Not an equal response anyway. I know I wonít be doing that to any of my friends any time soon; even though I talk a good game. Iím not saying Iím better than them by any means. I just like to think I hold them in a higher regard than they do me.

But, you know, Iíll get over this. Fuck, Iím not perfect. Iím sure along the way Iíve pissed off my share of people. Not that my bong-fried memory could recall any of these instances at the moment. Sure, lines get crossed all the time. People move on. This is just me venting right now. Itís what I do. Writing it out will help me get to sleep tonight. And, tomorrow, Iíll wake up in better spirits. See, I feel better already.

Itís time to watch another O.C. Get ready for my interview tomorrow. Shave off this insufferably ugly goatee. When will I learn that these things to NOT become me? Then again, what ever does, am I right? Ha! Of course I am.

Itís true what they say. I really do feel a burden of some sort has been lifted from my chest. Maybe Iíll avoid that early heart-attack after all.

Current Mood: Surprisingly Better
Current Music: Bjork - Enjoy (Remix)

Are you the pot or the kettle?
2004-10-12 11:27 pm
- hypocrite (adjective) : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion.

"I am the official Cancer of the Stevens Court apartments. Let's see who I've pissed off and why, over this as of yet unfinished school year.

Colin - After he put pudding in my mouth while I was asleep, I retaliated by cracking an egg in his bed and giving his sheets a shot of beer for my fallen homies.

Eric - Exposed some porn on his computer, then locked him out of his bedroom not once, but twice.

Drunk Mars - Woke him up repeatedly by being loud playing poker.

Kon - Let's see, there's really too many to count. There was the whole U.D. thing. There was multiple times where I drank his alcohol without his consent. Not to mention all the ridecule. Oh yeah, and the time I waited too long to wash some of the dishes I used.

Pete - Using his handtowel to dry my hands after washing them. Yes, drying clean hands. I'm not sorry for that one. I put up the sign making fun of his signs. I took a crap in their apartment a few times to his chagrin.

Andres - Yeah, after beating him in a poker hand, I gave him his own booty dance right in his face to mock him.

Everyone - Punching a hole in the wall. Puked in the bathroom sink. Knocked out the screen from the window and dented it. Hit the drywall with darts on many, many occasions. Got everyone written up.

Then, there's the shit I did that people probably didn't get too pissed about:

Passed out in the hallway, crumpled up against the wall.
Passed out on the couch / floor / empty room / bathroom.
Dropped a television from the top of the stairwell.
Peed off of the stairwell.
Peed out the window.
Bashed Mark's head against the wall. (Actually, I bet Mark wasn't too pleased about that)

And that's just what I can REMEMBER. My name's popping up on many an Enemies List right now.

I think, the next time I visit, I wouldn't be surprised if a public Caning is waiting for me."