The Game Show Network certainly knows their audience. So, I'm at work on my lunch break (two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, luke warm, like every day, with a Nalgene bottle of iced tea - and don't make fun of my dogs) and the GSN is on the tele. In the span of fifteen minutes, during this horrendous show with Kennedy as the host (yes, the cast-away VJ. If you don't remember her from her MTV days, then you weren't hip to the early 90's MTV scene when it was just starting to suck my will to live with all the TV shows, but still played music on occasion and covered the Woodstock '94 extensively). I think it's called Friend or Foe. Anyway, the GSN is all these old bitties like to watch, so I'm stuck with it. I really gotta find an odd hour to have lunch, like right before work ends.
Anyway, within the span of fifteen minutes (like I said before I got off on the tangent), there was four different commercials advertising the latest diet pill worth all their salt. Of course, over the same fifteen minutes, there was at least six people "20 pounds or more overweight" (myself included) in the room to have their lives changed forever. Would I pay $153 dollars for a bottle of pills? After all my failed diets, why YES YES YES!!! I'm telling you, though, in all seriousness, I think I'm the lightest person there excluding the asian women, and the rest of my co-workers ARE women! Short, fat women with bad hair. Seriously, like working with 9 or 10 Big Sarahs (ooo, that was TOO cheap. My bad, I apologize for that low blow).
I really must learn to censor myself.
Hey, I just got three new Jimi Hendrix albums. That brings the grand total to 24, though most of them are double CD sets, and two of them are 3-cd and 4-cd boxed sets respectively. I tell you, Jimi live albums blow all live Pearl Jam albums out of the water. Too bad there's like a bazillion and five live PJ cds and, like, half as many Jimi cds. I tell you, I could listen to 99 different 10-minute versions of "Red House" and never hear the same song twice. Yet, with Pearl Jam, I'm getting the same damn version of "Corduroy" every damn album! Not that I'm complaining TOO much, I'm still fans of both. But, come on, Jimi Hendrix is the High Life of music, while Pearl Jam is simply the Milwaukee's Best.
And if ya don't know, now ya know ...
___________________________________________________________________________
I'm hopped up on tea and Monster energy drink. Funny, THAT tastes just like Red Bull too! Suck on that Coliverz!!! Actually, I think Monster doesn't actually make you more awake, it just speeds up your heartrate. Seriously, mine was beating like a hummingbird about 10 minutes ago. Maybe I drank it too fast. Maybe it was a low-level heart-murmer. Maybe it was a TUMOR!!!
It's not a tumor, it's not a tumor.
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.
OK, no more Kindergarten Cop quotes. I'm serious this time.
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
STOP IT!
I'm detective John Kimble! I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, I want them answered immediately!!!
Damn you!!! What did I just say?
You're not so tough without your CAR are ya?
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!
(and that's what Charlie Brown always says when Lucy pulls the football away while he's trying to kick it. That act alone is a microcosm of my life. Someone's always pulling that motherfucking (say 'motherloving', it's nicer) football away from me at the last minute)
Current Mood: Woo Hah, got you ALL in check!
Current Music: Jimi Hendrix Experience - Hear My Train A Comin' (Live in Oakland, April 27, 1969)