No matter where I go, I'm confronted with these old, moron bitches!
So, I work in an office full of women. And all of these women, I mean ALL of them, are hardcore republicans. (Seriously, I don't know how the bulk of Pierce County could vote for Dino Rossi for governor. I mean, do we really want a Governor who's named after the pet on the Flintstones?). One of these really nasty skags brought up a thought provoking point in the break room last week (thought-provoking, that is, if your brain is composed of cheese). When they showed John Edwards on TV in regards to the Democrats losing the election, she said about him, "He's just so plastic." What the FUCK does that even mean? How can you not like John Edwards? The man's fucking charming as hell! Hell, he could charm the pants off of me!
These dottering ninnies, I swear! These are the same uptight, overprotective moms who're afraid to buy one of those "Now! That's What I Call Music" cds because of the possible suggestive content.
Hell, I was listening to Axl Rose have sex on the Appetite for Destruction record when I was six! Maybe that's why I turned out the way I did.
Or, maybe, some of these mothers should pop their titties out of their child's mouths and let their kids grow up! (If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between "Shit" and "Syphilis").
Then, I get to the funeral. The women on my dad's side of the family are humongous bitches to the maximum. With the exception of my one cool aunt, I could throw them all under a bus and not even blink. The other aunts, my grandfather's sisters, cousins, etc. At the portion where the piece of shit priest was up there "Challenging" us to stand up and say a few words about my grandma (because, literally, if we didn't know the woman, we would've known more about the fucking priest's life than my own grandmother's. He was on cruise control from the start, reading the same tired passages from the fucking Bible, looking and sounding like he didn't give shit one about the whole experience), a few of the people in the audience stood up and said some nice things. Then, my aunt's boyfriend stood up and blubbered his way through an impromptu speech, and then my aunt got up there. She was telling some really sweet stories and really pouring her heart out there for everyone. Well, my other aunts and the other bitches on my dad's side of the family literally turned their backs on her and her 12 year old daughter who was sobbing uncontrollably. Then, afterward, at some lunch thing they all went to (of course, my aunt wasn't invited, so I didn't go either. Fuck those God-damned yentas!), they had the fucking gall to talk a whole pile of shit about my aunt the entire time.
You know, when your mother dies, you'd think you'd have a pass on the day of her funeral. You'd think you'd have one day where you didn't have to be dumped upon any further. I mean, my aunt lost her mom. All these other bitches, they still HAVE their biological mother. Really, what they were trying to do was drive a wedge between my aunt and her father. Well, it worked, because my grandpa just refuses to speak up on her behalf. Anything to NOT rock the boat.
I'm seriously done with this family. I'm done talking about the hoes who treated my grandma like shit for most of her life. Who are so bitterly jealous of my aunt because they feel she got more attention then they did. Dispicable pukes.
Anyway, I guess my little speech, which I fastidiously read from the sheet, only raising my head once to acknowledge the crowd, went over pretty well. I couldn't tell, because I was DEATHLY embarassed (like I said, not a public speaker), but I guess I made some people cry. Ahh, the power of the written word. Too bad it had to be overshadowed by a bunch of assholes.
Well, it's drinking tonight. And, giving my dog Rocky a home-made haircut. He's gonna look like he's got mange or something. Should be pretty sweet. Drunken haircuts rule!
Current Mood: Washing the Cat hair from my body so I won't sneeze for days
Current Music: Staples - Wasted Time (Jessica and Kon punk to the max. Only about five thousand more CDs to go)