Big Tim Bugaloo and Little Ashley Tromboli stood over a slumbering Mayor McCheese in the bedroom of his 35-room mansion. Twenty-two minutes later, in a very large burlap sack, the agitated Mayor McCheese was unsuccessfully stuffed into the trunk of Little Ashley Tromboli's Monte Carlo. Five minutes and fifty whacks with a shovel later, a closed trunk was achieved.
Little Ashley Tromboli knew of the perfect spot to dispose of the body. Big Tim Bugaloo started the car.
***
People called her Little Ashley Tromboli because she stood tall at 5 feet 1 inch, weighing in at 90 pounds. People did not call her Little Ashley Tromboli for her mouth circumference. She could stick an entire can of Starkist tuna in her mouth. That made her very popular with the Thick Dicks, a club comprised of 16 men with extra-wide peni. They'd get together every week with their paper mach� molds of their johnsons by their sides with their names on them, talking about what they'd managed to stick their dicks in the previous week.
One day, Thick Dick #8 came in with the story of how he managed to fit his entire rod inside the mouth of one of the tiniest whores he'd ever seen. The following week, Thick Dick #3 and Thick Dick #11 both returned with the same story. By the end of the month, each member had had a taste of Little Ashley Tromboli's house specialty and, in turn, had stretched her mouth out another quarter inch.
Suffice it to say, they enjoyed Little Ashley Tromboli's company. Suffice it to say, when they heard Mayor McCheese wanted her assassinated, the Thick Dicks were willing to partake in the revenge.
***
No one would suspect to find Mayor McCheese's gigantic hamburger body in the backyard of Thick Dick #6. His yard already reeked to high heaven as he kept it in constant plow. Thick Dick 6 even owned a cow so he could supply his own fertilizer. Thick Dick 6 figured a decomposing hamburger would do wonders for a plot of land that grew nothing. Sooner or later, something would grow, but in the meantime, an impromptu grave was the name of the game.
All the Thick Dicks assembled in Thick Dick 6's back yard. They dug a hole five feet deep, five feet wide. When Little Ashley Tromboli and Big Tim Bugaloo arrived, all the Thick Dicks stood at extra special attention with anticipation of seeing Little Ashley Tromboli and her Mouth of a Thousand Cocks.
***
Big Tim Bugaloo failed to mention one thing: the rest of his conversation with Mayor McCheese at the interview for the assassin position.
"Now, I'm not having you kill the whore for the $200 bill. Hell, I could wipe my sweaty, shit-filled ass and find two hundred bones back there. No, I want her dead for ... other reasons."
"What reasons," Big Tim Bugaloo inquired.
"Many reasons," Mayor McCheese said.
"How many?"
"About sixteen."
***
About sixteen weeks before Thick Dick #8 met the likes of Little Ashley Tromboli, he came to the meeting with a sort of show and tell. "This," Thick Dick 8 said, "is Mayor McCheese. I had my cock in this last night."
The hamburger gangbang that followed lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. Thick Dick #5 and Thick Dick #14 had to call in sick to work the next day. Actually, they weren't sick, they were just chafed from too many sesame seeds on the shaft. However, being in the Gay Animal Porn (or G.A.P.) industry, extra-curricular activity such as the giant hamburger love would not fly.
Mayor McCheese was never happier than when he had sixteen wide-mouth cocks between his buns
***
Thick Dick #8 knew right away that something was wrong when Big Tim Bugaloo pulled Mayor McCheese out of the burlap sack. The onions ... they were too ... round. Almost like grenades painted white.
Actually, the onions were fine. They were just a distraction for the fellas while Big Tim Bugaloo pulled out the crowbar from the trunk. Big Tim Bugaloo beat in Little Ashley Tromboli's head until it was nothing more than skin, hair, bone, blood, and brains. All those parts together makes for a healthy head, all those separated like they were constituted death. At first, the Thick Dicks were slightly agitated; they settled for more hamburger gangbanging. In a sort of Duck-Duck-Goose way, Big Tim Bugaloo killed each member of the Thick Dicks with his trusty crowbar to the head. In not-so-gentle terms, Big Tim Bugaloo professed his homophobia. "I hate that faggot shit," he said.
Mayor McCheese was in utter incomprehension. Big Tim Bugaloo settled that by releasing Thick Dick 6's pet cow. As it turns out, Thick Dick 6 was a psychopath who enjoyed feeding hamburger to his cow for nourishment. "It's better fertilizer if they shit their own kind."
Thick Dick 6's cow's name was ... Cow. Cow feasted on hamburger for a week. Once finished, he would no longer require food for the rest of the year. That was good, since Big Tim Bugaloo decided to adopt Cow.
Together, with Big Tim Bugaloo on Cow's back, they walked all the way to New York City. After making it through the Lincoln tunnel, Cow died of rabies. No one knows why.
... to be continued ...