Oh Bondsy, You Came & You Won Me A Trophy.

Guy hits a homer making him one better than Hank Aaron, I guess I better waste some words on the subject. Damn feat doesn't come around every day now does it?

Pretty much, I don't give a damn about career records in sports. Achievements once seen impossible to overtake are now tossed around like limp dildos at a Lotion Party. I mean, Steve Largent once led all wide receivers with his 101 career touchdown receptions. Now, I'm pretty sure the entire city of Montreal has got my childhood hero beat. Shaun Alexander had the single-season rushing touchdowns record for exactly one season. Next year, overtook by LDT. Ho hum.

755 was supposed to be untouchable, right? Kinda like 714. Nobody was ever gonna beat 61 in a season ... well, surely nobody would topple 70 ... OK, I'll shut up now.

Maybe it's because I'm not in my fifties. Maybe it's because I haven't been going to baseball games since I was five. Maybe it's because I wasn't around to see Henry Aaron's mastery. Maybe it's because I never read my Major League Baseball history books. But, I just don't give a crap about these records people are holding as sacred.

I have been and always will be an NFL guy. I collected football cards, not baseball. I learned about NFL history, studied the stats of my favorite players, read up on all the Super Bowls, memorized all the winners. But, I could care less about THOSE records. Most TDs in a season by position; most career TDs, yards, receptions, interceptions.

There are only 5 records in all of sports that will give me an erection, and they are, in order of boner-inducement:

* Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hit streak
* Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game
* Miami Dolphins' 17-0 record
* 8 Consecutive Games with a Home Run (currently held by Griffey, Mattingly, and somebody named Dale Long)
* Joey Chestnut's 66 Hot Dogs eaten in 12 minutes

Incidentally, those records are also listed in order of most-difficult to achieve to least-difficult. Because, let's face it, someone will find a way to gorge themselves with 100 hot dogs; a 9th consecutive game will be seen; another NFL team will have a perfect season; 100 points will be topped (hopefully by Kevin Durant in the near future); but NOBODY will ever hit in a 57th consecutive game.

And, as far as these Endurance Records are concerned - Favre's consecutive games started at quarterback (257 including playoffs), Rice's consecutive games with a reception (274), Ripken's consecutive games started (2632), Jordan's consecutive games with 10 or more points scored (840) - I'm not buying them for one second. All that means is that you're able to not get injured and that you're marginally good. I mean, at the end of Ripken's career, he was a slow white guy demoted to third base. Rice dundered around Oakland for a year or two; and if Jordan can't score 10 points every game, you know it's time to hang 'em up. I'll give it up to Favre somewhat, football's a bitch of a sport to stay healthy in. Nevertheless, the number 257 isn't really etched into the consciousness of anyone living outside Green Bay, Wisconsin.

So Bonds, enjoy your achievement. Bask in all the attention you're receiving. Tainted, not tainted, I don't give a damn. Talk to me when you eat 70 hot dogs in 12 minutes