Fuck It, Sports.

There's a whole lotta mediocre stories out there in the world of sports, so I'm gonna tick 'em off one at a time in no particular order.


• NFL Draft - Can anyone in Seattle remember an NFL draft that was less anticipated? Here, I'll give you the inside scoop: In the first round this year, the Seahawks will draft Deion Branch, 6-year NFL veteran. Overall though, around the NFL, who cares? There's that black quarterback from LSU who the Raiders are gonna take number 1 who'll probably be OK, there's Brady Quinn who everyone hates, who'll be taken too early, who'll bomb so heartily, and there's a fucking STUD wide receiver from Georgia Tech who's bound to be the second coming of Koren Robinson. Big fucking whoop.


• NBA Draft - The Seattle Supersonics have concluded their worst season in 21 years with a blowout loss at home against the Dallas Mavericks, solidifying their position as the 5th worst franchise of the 2006-2007 season. They have a decent (not great) chance of getting a top 3 pick in this the most stacked of drafts since 1983. Again, who cares? The Sonics will most likely NOT get in the top 3, most likely NOT take someone who's athletic and American, most likely NOT take someone who'll ever contribute to the team in a meaningful way.


• Seattle Mariners - Felix just got hurt, thumbs are crossed that he'll be fine. Jeff Weaver has obliged all expectations with his atrocious start. Miguel Batista is well on his way to a .500 (or slightly below .500) season. The only guys batting over .300 are Ichiro, Johjima, and someone by the name of Jason Ellison who's 1 for 1. Adrian Beltre has 2 fielding errors (unless you count the two more in that Cleveland Snow Game) to go along with 2 home runs. I'm only optimistic about this season for the Mariners because the AL West is looking fairly weak this year. Nevertheless, it'd be nice to get on a nice run early.


• NBA Playoffs - So, anyone excited for the playoffs? It's the greatest three thousand weeks of the year! Let me just go on record as saying I fucking HATE the format of having seven games played in the first round. That having been said, it sure would've been nice to have an extra couple games back in 1994 against the Nuggets, or in 1995 against the Lakers in the Tacoma Dome. You know why the 7-game series sucks in general? Because it's pretty irrelevant until the fourth or fifth game, when both teams have a couple wins under their belts. Really, nobody cares until you get down to Game 6 or 7.


• NBA Eastern Conference - As a sub-note, does the Eastern Conference remind anyone of Middle Eastern Terrorists pitted up against Jack Bauer? Sure, they have a few guns and an agenda, but no one REALLY takes their chances seriously.


• NBA Playoff Matchups - Detroit/Orlando (yawn); Cleveland/Washington (would've been EPIC had Hibachi not gotten hurt for the season); Toronto/New Jersey (I can't believe the Nets haven't been blown up yet); Miami/Chicago (kinda irritated that it isn't Miami/Cleveland, because the odds aren't good that we'll see that matchup in the Eastern Conference Finals with how good Detroit is); Dallas/Golden State (yeah yeah, it's a nice story, the two coaches having been erstwhile on the same side, but there's no way this series is competative); Phoenix/L.A. Lakers (Kobe might be good for one win, kinda like last year against the Suns); San Antonio/Denver (can George Karl get out of the first round without Frank Brickowski on the roster? I say no); Utah/Houston (ahh, love that old rivalry; my money's on Olajuwon eeking out a win over Stockton/Malone).


• NBA Playoff Predictions - Detroit over Miami in the second round who'll face Toronto who'll beat Cleveland in THEIR second round matchup. Detroit over Toronto. Dallas over Houston in a HARD fought series; San Antonio over Phoenix, thereby ruining my ultimate fantasy of a Dallas/Phoenix final. Dallas over San Antonio. Dallas over Detroit with Dirk playing a shitty series but getting every single ref call and going to the line 40 times a game just to shut Mark Cuban the fuck up. Whole lotta Texas goin' on.


• Sonics New Arena - Dead. Fucking Seattle politicians. New York would NEVER let the Knicks leave town. I fucking hate Seattle.


• Baseball & Basketball - My favorite sport is football, but at best you're looking at 20 games a year. But, I could watch football damn near every night of the week, with any and all teams playing. That's why I kinda wish I was more of a baseball/basketball fan. I could sit around, watch my team play 3-6 times a week depending on sport, be a casual observer and yet sit around eating up stats on a daily basis. Instead, I'm a football guy, which means an intensive small stretch of season with most of the week being hype followed by one giant payoff on Sundays.


• Finally - 102 more days until the start of Seattle Seahawks Training Camp.