Steven A. Taylor's Grammy Awards Brouhaha.

Normally I save all my Brouhahas for the Academy Awards, because really and for truly the Grammys are just plain silly. I mean, record of the year AND song of the year, and then on down the line with every single imaginable catagory of music ... there are like 8,000 statues to give out! They're worse than the fucking Special Olympics!

At least when I make fun of the MTV Video Music Awards, it's slightly entertaining because it's at the point now where it's intentionally rediculous.

But, such is the life of the man who's too tired to do so little work on a Friday afternoon. Without further ado:

Do you think it's as funny as I do that Kanye leads all nominees, yet Amy Winehouse is getting 80% of the publicity? That guy can't BUY respect; I guess he'll have to settle for his millions of dollars and all those platinum records.

By the way, can I just say that I'm SO over Amy Winehouse right now. First, I went and played the album out, then the rest of America played it out, then she started going on stage drunk off her ass every chance she got and played herself out. I'm not even looking forward to whatever new album she's coming out with; I'm still kinda hoping she and her husband have a Sid & Nancy type ending.

Is anyone else tired of Foo Fighters being the Token Rock Band included in album of the year discussions whenever they release another laserturd? Why not Radiohead; what's it gonna take for that band to get its due?

By the way, I haven't heard of about 95% of the acts/songs/albums that are nominated. Pretty much, if you're black and not named Kanye, I haven't heard what you've done in 2007; no offense.

How about the surprisingly strong Pop Instrumental Performance catagory with both the Beastie Boys AND Ben Harper in the running?

I'm still waiting for a separate Dance and Techno catagory; putting the Chemical Brothers in the same league with Rihanna just ain't right. BTW, nice work nominating LCD Soundsystem for best Dance Album.

Oh no, Mellencamp is nominated for best solo rock performance with that song from that commercial that I don't want to name ...

Yep, you heard it right, the White Stripes and Green Day are in the same catagory as Nickelback and Daughtry. That crazy ol' Satan, he's up to his old tricks!

Evanescence is "Hard Rock"? Ozzy is worthy of a Grammy? Please give Hard Rock Performance to Queens of the Stone Age - mostly by default - but because 'Sick Sick Sick' is, indeed, sick.

Man, I am so out of touch with today's heavy metal. Nice to see Slayer still banging heads.

Ahh, here we go, Best Rock Album. You've got the Foo Fighters, mmm hmm. You've got Daughtry, all right. You've got WILCO, I guess they count. You've got John Fogarty, okay. You've got the Boss, hmm. Is this, like, Springsteen's 5th album in 2 years or am I nuts? And correct me if I'm wrong, but Fogarty hasn't been in CCR for a few decades, yeah?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the more attention you stupid fucks give Daughtry, the more he's going to think he has any business whatsoever making another shitty album!

Give it to Wilco, make me happy for once in my life.

Best "Alternative" Music Album. Normally the only catagory I give two shits about, and already I see the names and I'm groaning. Lily Allen; HOW is she not pop? The Arcade Fire; a HUGE step down from their debut album, no likey. Bjork; yeah, I guess it was pretty sweet. I'll give you that one. The White Stripes; meh, kind of an up-and-down effort that doesn't age as well as I'd hoped. Annnnd, The Shins. Sigh. I can't stand the Shins. They should've given their spot to Modest Mouse. And Radiohead should've been in there. And fuck it, I can't think of who else released an album this year. I'm thinking maybe the Mars Volta; and what about Kings of Leon?? Fuckers!

I'm skipping all the R&B catagories because I'm assuming the Reverend Al Green and Marvin Gaye were shut out yet again. I'm also skipping all Country catagories because Johnny Cash is dead.

Nice to see Common getting lots of love in the various rap catagories. Best album, up there with Jay-Z, Nas, Kanye, and T.I. Stout competition; and look for Jay-Z to get another album nod next year with his American Gangster offering.

Dude, they have a catagory called "Best Rock or Rap Gospel Album". Oh, you KNOW I'm downloading this shit! That's gotta be comedy gold!

So, they have a Latin Grammys, they have a Country Music Awards ... why are these catagories so extensively included into the Big Show? People could walk marathons in less time than it would take to dish out all these fucking trophies.

Whoa, betcha didn't think I'd notice you, Tom Waits, all the way down there in Contemporary Folk/Americana Album. Ditto Tia Carrere, she of Wayne's World fame (you know, she's Magically Babelicious), for Best Hawaiian Album.

OK, it's rediculous that audio books are lumped into Spoken Word albums! I'm calling shenanigans on that one.

Oh man, Flight of the Conchords are up for Best Comedy Album. I just wet myself a little.

They also give awards for album packaging, special album packaging, and written liner notes. Yeah, that special edition of the My Chemical Romance album sounds BITCHIN'!

110 catagories (I didn't even bother reading all the classical fare; do they still make original symphonies?). Overkillmuch?