The Perfect Jerk.

You know the kinda jerkin' where you save it up for a real long time, and you're takin' it real slow, and you stop and go and stop and go, and you're lyin' on your back, and you're thinkin' about somethin' real hot, and you've got nothin' but time and nothin' but fantasy, and then you find the groove and she finds the groove, and you're locked in, and you're givin' it to her hard, and your hand's pumpin' and you're almost comin', and then all of a sudden your body convulses, and you do this full-body crunch, and you're head's about a foot off the bed, and your cockshot's splattering this way and that, and you let out that satisfying finally grunt, and your mouth's open at the most perfect moment, but your spooge is in the worst possible trajectory, and then it lands in your mouth, and your eyes open wide with disgust and shock, and your body relaxes, and you lie back down, and it's still in there for a couple seconds too long, and then you sit up and spit it out all over your cum-rag, and you realize you've just tasted your own semen, and you now know the reason why women don't like to swallow, and now you can understand why they don't chug it down with gusto, and now you want nothing more than to run into the bathroom and vomit, but you just brush your teeth instead, but the taste's still there, the taste's always there, and it's always gonna be there.

And that's when you realize that you've just participated in the perfect jerk. And it'll probably never happen again. But, for that one instant, you've experienced what it's like to experience both sides of the ballgame. And then you wipe up and go to bed, because you've got to see if you can't replicate it tomorrow.