You. Can. Count. On. Me. No Matter What You Do.

You. Can. Count. On. Me. No matter where you go!

If anybody can tell me what TV sitcom theme song that's from, you're a better man than I, because I've had it stuck in my head all morning and had to look it up on Google.

Am I a TV-holic? Actually, I may in fact be (a moth) the BEST kind of TV-holic.

See, when I was growing up, I was a TV junkie. It was bad. My favorite day of the year wasn't my birthday, nor Christmas, nor even Halloween. It was the day that the Fall Preview issue of TV Guide came in the mail. I'd quickly scamper off to my room (or simply just do it out in the open), tear through the ads and filler that appear before the listings of each issue, until I found the special pull-out section that had all of the new season's TV shows with corresponding descriptions about each one. Not only that, but they had calendars for every day of the week, with every major network listed from 8pm through the Evening News (and sometimes beyond if they happened to be introducing a new Late Night Talk Show).

I'd take that special section and read up on all the new shows that were coming out and see how they stacked up to my favorites that survived another season. Then, day by day, I'd either highlight or circle the shows I wanted to watch, until my entire Prime Time schedule was blocked off for every day of the week. Needless to say, TGIF made it so I never had to look anywhere but ABC on Friday nights.

It was bad. I'd say on any given day growing up, I managed to watch between 30 and 60 minutes of TV in the morning. Then, I had school for ... EVER. Then, I got home and it was directly to either Fox or KSTW (that would be channels 13 and 11 for those in the know) for a variety of cartoons ranging from Gummi Bears, Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers, Talespin, Animaniacs (but never EVER Goof Troop or those crappy Power Rangers!). Then, after 5:00, the syndicated sitcoms started airing, so that bridges the gap between dinner and 8:00-snacktime. And, with a full Prime Time schedule taking me to my 10:00 bedtime, that's the potential for 7 and a half hours of TV per WEEKday. Granted, this kind of slothful television watching wasn't the norm - I'd set the median at right around 3 and a half hours per weekday. Weekends? Anything goes, but of course we had cable since as far back as I can remember.

{{By the way, as a little aside here. The greatest thing you can give your 13 year old son: free Showtime. When we got that magical device that hooked directly into our house's cable that gave all our TVs free Showtime, I went into my room, saw one episode of Red Shoe Diaries, and I wasn't seen from my family again until I graduated high school. How I'm not blind right now is really a testament to all those strained carrots I may or may not have eaten as a baby}}

Today, though, my addiction to television has subsided to a dull roar. I lived without a television in my bedroom through four years of college and managed just fine with sporadic events in the various lounges. Now, I'm in that same boat again, except the dorm lounge has shifted to a stinky bar with no sound coming from the things I watch. Nevertheless, I have ComPuTor and he gives me all the television I need.

Which, as of late, has been one season of one show right after another. Today, it's On-Again for my HBO prison drama Oz as the 4th season finally found its way onto my harddrive. This after a weeklong diversion into the land of Six Feet Under. Add to the list: Clarissa Explains It All, Rome, The Sopranos, Entourage, The Wire, 24, South Park, John From Cincinnati, and whatever else I'm forgetting right now. That's quite the run I've been on since ... April?

Anyway, I'm coming home soon. And when I finally get there, I've got some things on my home computer that I need to bring back here with me. I've got Arrested Development I want to re-watch. I've got tons of Newsradio I want to have around. It's time to bring the funny back into my life. Everything I've been watching (save my Nickelodeon nostalgia trip and the new South Parks as they arrive) has been depressing as all fuck-all. With the tag-team of Six Feet Under and Oz being the worst of the bunch.

I mean, Six Feet Under is a show where, without fail, somebody dies in EVERY episode! Oz is hardly any better, seeing as it's set in a prison and all. It's getting to the point where I'm trying to find the lighter side of man-on-man anal rape.