Remember when Brett Favre used to be the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers? You probably remember, it was around the time he made an appearance in "There's Something About Mary." Man, Brett Favre was one for the ages. Remember ... when he used to quarterback a quick, efficient offense that moved up and down the field with ease? Zipping slants into tight spaces only to have the receivers break free, running around only to dump a screen pass to a wide open running back at the last possible second with nothing but linemen and field in front of them, occasionally zooming a deep ball on a skinny post in between three defenders. Favre played for Green Bay back in the 90s when the Cowboys had their dynasty and the Packers kept coming up JUST short of the Super Bowl. Then, all of a sudden, Emmitt Smith, Troy Aikman, and Michael Irvin all got old, and the Pack broke on through with a win over a hapless Bledsoe-led New England team! Finally, Favre was able to cement his place among the NFL all-time great quarterbacks. Finally, Favre had his ring.
So, who was that old fucking man they had out on the field last night wearing his jersey?
Is this what it's come to for the Packers? Chuck long ball after long ball into heavily-guarded areas of the field hoping that mediocre receivers will make a play? Since when did they think they had Culpepper and Moss circa 2001? Aside from the one slant throw to Driver for a touchdown in the third quarter, the Packers looked PATHETIC! You had FOUR turnovers off of Hasselbeck and you can only muster 14 points? Forget the fumble return, there were three picks that netted the Pack only 7 points. Sorry, that's the only word to describe. You've got a Later-Years Dan Marino out there and you're surrounding him with a rookie line and a defense softer than the Snuggle Teddy Bear. EVERY DAMN YEAR! This has been the same team for a fucking decade and they STILL can't put a defense on the field? I'm not saying what the 'Hawks have is great, but it's servicable! It got us to the Super Bowl last season ... whereas Green Bay doesn't look like they'll be back for at LEAST another decade if not longer.
Kon had the line of the night last night. More or less, there is a hierarchy of teams the Seahawks HAVE to beat in order for us to retain our sanity. First and foremost, we have to beat the Steelers. Because listening to Mark W. Sloane and Colin A. Olivers run their fucking mouths is too much to bear. Number two on that list HAS to be the Green Bay Packers. Matt gives us nothing but grief over Holmgren and besides, they knocked us out of the playoffs a few years ago. The 49ers haven't done shit to us, but they're number three on the list. I know out there somewhere Nate Myles Long is looking forward to the day where the 49ers are good again ... IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! Lastly, there's the Cowboys. They're like a flea, a meaningless nothing with a big-headed do-nothing coach who's worthless without his Belichick. You're goin' nowhere with that team, Andres! Might as well defect and start rooting for the Falcons.
So, certainly I didn't expect Hasselbeck to throw 3 interceptions and give a fumble away for a touchdown (then again, when they happened, I didn't necessarily expect the Seahawks to win last night either). But, he came out rusty. SUPER fucking rusty. I mean, throwing off a helmet, throwing into tight coverage, holding onto the ball longer than he should have and not running on that sack/fumble when he normally would've felt the pressure. When he came out in the second half, though, I knew he'd be better. It was only a matter of time before he got his rhythm back.
I bet Matt and his Packer-Clan in attendance were THRILLED when they saw the snow coming down before the game. "Oh, the Packers are gonna DOMINATE in this!" Yes, and then they quickly got a dose of what a crappy offensive line can do for you. More importantly, though, you JUST don't stop Shaun Alexander at night, at home, on national television. Like the attention-whore that he is, #37 saves up all his energy for the spotlight (don't forget his 5-TD first half against the Vikings, or the game against the Raiders before that when he ran for 266 yards and 3 TDs, both on ESPN Sunday Night Football).
But, what of my whipping boy? What of Jerramy Stevens? You know that scene in "Dumb and Dumber" where Lloyd trades the Shaggin' Wagon for that little motor scooter and Harry says, "Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this ... and totally redeem yourself!" But, really, it's just some inconsequential shit and doesn't solve anything pertaining to the true matter at hand ... that was Jerramy Stevens' performance last night. AGAIN with the dropped balls - and I don't care that he was hit by defenders, he had the fucking ball in his hands at least THREE times, on the ground, and he just crumples like a fucking girl, letting the ball fly out EVERY TIME; good receivers, even average receivers come up with SOME of them; but he's got no toughness, either mental or physical - oh, but he nabbed a 2-point conversion and a 3-yard touchdown late. Great, he did his job on THOSE plays - still making him at least 2 for 5 on the night - am I supposed to give him a fucking medal? Sure, he didn't cost us the game this time, but he COULD have. And he will, again, before the season's over. Mark my words. And you know what else? You don't GET to spike the ball and defiantly stare at the booing home crowd! You don't get to do a GOD damned thing! Don't think you're some great player now; don't think you've been vindicated because you made two plays and scored a touchdown after we already have the lead in the fourth quarter with the Packers offense playing like shit. You're still a cocky fucking jackass with NO reason to be cocky! And then Holmgren has this to say, "There are other things involved and the fans don�t know everything that is going into it." What's that supposed to mean; trouble at home? Well, I have a couple quotes from the movie "Wet Hot American Summer" to attribute to that:
So be prepared. Be enthusiastic. And leave you bullshit baggage and attitude at the door 'cause we don't need it!!!
Before we start I'd just like to say that the campers you're about to see suck dick ... nevertheless ... please ... welcome them.
In other words, fuck you Stevens, play ball or deal with your shit, but don't bring it on the field. And, by booing, the fans really aren't helping matters any. Besides, the last thing I want is for Stevens to feel like he's accomplished something by doing the bare minimum.