Richie Sexson Sucks: Forever, or, My Mariners Mania.

2 for 3 with a walk, rbi and 2 runs! Batting Average Alert: .167. Here's to hoping we see .200 by the time I hit the letter L, for Loser. If he does, I'm single-handedly taking all the credit for Richie Sexson's resurgent turnaround.

When he's healthy, I have all the confidence in the world in King Felix's abilities. When he's healthy. When in reality, do I have confidence in his ability to stay healthy? I dunno, I mean, where the hell is this arm problem coming from? This just smacks of Mark Prior Syndrome, even though he ain't all that overworked.

And let's not delude ourselves, Jarrod Washburn is off to a fairly hot start, but he's about as streaky as they come. Same thing goes with Batista, I consider these two guys solid arms who'll eat up innings, keep the era under 5, and generally give you a chance to win just about every game.

Horacio Ramirez, from my understanding - as I've still yet to see him pitch in a meaningful game - is just a nothing pitcher. He throws junk at the plate, throws that junk quite poorly at times, and doesn't do anything particularly well. At the beginning of the season, he was drawing comparisons to Paul Abbott - the Paul Abbott circa 2001 when he won 17 games while pitching in front of the best defense in baseball and behind an offense that knew how to score runs - but I just don't see it. Paul Abbott was always known to have command of his pitch location, and he actually had a decent change up as an out pitch. Ramirez doesn't appear to have any of that. He's a poor man's John Halama in my book, and we all know how that fared for the Mariners.

Today the Mariners play at 1:05pm Eastern (should weather permit, which it almost didn't last night) in Detroit, Michigan. Jeff Weaver goes up against Justin Verlander, which is just so many whammies against us I can't even begin to count. Verlander owns us. He owns us like Pedro Martinez, Paul Byrd, and any rookie pitcher making his first start in the major leagues combined. And this is the same Jeff Weaver who ran into the buzz saw that is Chien-Ming Wang five days ago. The same Jeff Weaver who pitched his best game of the season against Chien-Ming Wang five days ago, going 5 and 2/3 innings, giving up 9 hits, 3 walks, 6 earned runs, while garnering 3 strike outs. By all accounts, everything looks cut and dry. We're going to lose to Detroit today by the score of 10-1, where Jeff Weaver lasts well into the second inning before being yanked, and after today he'll be off our Starting Rotation, off our Roster, and hopefully hitchhiking his way back to whatever unholy alien pod that brought him here from the planet Suckassbitchtoria. This will open the way for Cha Seung Baek to pitch his way to glory and pitch the Mariners right into the American League Playoffs.

So, of course, Jeff Weaver will go 7 and 2/3 strong innings of No-Decision ball and make Mike Hargrove think twice, keep him in the rotation, and set us back another two months. God damn this game.