Bitcheous Assrammerous.

Listen to me, Joey Porter is a bitch. He got shot in the ass a couple years ago. Ask gay men everywhere, the ass is the BEST place to get shot up in!

So, he THINKS he's Ray Lewis, except Ray-Ray actually backs it up on the field. SOMETHING tells me you won't be seeing Joey Porter hoisting up any Super Bowl MVP trophies in the near future. He's by no means dominant. He's a part of a defense with a really good blitz/zone-blitz scheme that forces turnovers, pressures the quarterback and overall has the potential to really cause some havoc. He's a cog. You could put ANY fast-ish linebacker over there and get results. Why do you think they keep churning out these quality 'backers? It's the scheme, stupid! It's the same reason the Denver Broncos can't piss without having a 1000+ yard rusher every year. It's the same reason why a New England defense full of nobodys can man up in the playoffs year in and year out. It's how the Bears could muster 12 wins with a do-nothing offense!

But, Joey Porter also wants that pub that T.O. gets. Too bad he looks just a LITTLE too much like Fred-Ex Mitchell behind the mic. When your name is Joey Porter and you're the ONLY "bad boy" who's using words during the week to try to pump up your team, because both of these teams are about as sterile as two vasectomied 80 year old men, you know you're really sad. Nobody cares about Joey Porter, and that's the truth. They care about the Bus and Big Ben. They care about Polamalu and Hines Ward. They even care about Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander more than Joey Porter, and we're a part of the South Alaska Seahawks for Christ's sake! So, Joey Porter has to get his name out there by mouthing off like a little bitch because his numbers alone won't do it. His numbers tell me he's an average player in part of a wonderful defensive scheme that puts him in the right place at the right time. In other words, he knows how to zig when his coaches tell him to zig. Oh, by the way, the people care about Bill Cowher more than Joey Porter too. Hell, they care about Whisenhunt more than your bullet-riddled ass!

Joey, I'm talking to you now. You will go down. You'll go down like Mike Harden. You'll go down like you've just been punked by a white-boy hall of fame wide receiver after intercepting the ball. This time, WE'RE going to be Bo Jackson and YOU'RE going to be The Boz. Mark my words, Joey Porter, because the only one tapping out here will be you