Sports Moments.

The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile is parked outside and across the street from our building. For the record, their hot dogs are the devil, but how can you look at that thing and not love that wiener?

Everybody, all together now: "That's What She Said!"

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Dallas Mavericks. It's taken over a decade, and I think those hardcore fans like myself can all agree, we're still not over the shame of being a far-and-away Number 1 Seed and losing to the Number 8 Seed Denver Nuggets in the 5th game of a 5-game series.

There are a few images I've seen in my lifetime that are permanently burned into my mind's eye. To clean the list up a bit, I'll go ahead and discount every time I've seen real-life female nudity and every time Peteman has flashed his dragon. Sports related, I don't think I'll ever forget ANY of the big Looks-Like-A-Catch-But-Turns-Into-A-Drop-At-The-Last-Second bumbles by Jerramy Stevens. I have Steve Largent's 100th touchdown against Cincinnati (legs locked together, at the back of the endzone, falling backward). I have Bo Jackson running out of the Kingdome (somehow, I missed originally seeing him run over Brian Bozworth, or have blocked that one out). I have Dave Kreig hitting Paul Skansi in Kansas City on a day in which Derrick Thomas sacked him seven or eight times. I've got Griffey scoring the go-ahead run in '95 (but, what Seattle fan DOESN'T have that one memorized). I've got Griffey breaking his wrist on the Kingdome wall. I've got Jay Buhner catching a ball while falling INTO the Boston Red Sox bullpen. For some reason, I have a Doug Strange grand slam from '95 in there.

Then, you've got just those tragic, heartbreaking moments. David Justice bombing off of Arthur Rhodes. A combo Coin Flip / "We're Gonna Score" / Interception Returned For Touchdown in Green Bay. Rex Chapman hitting a three off of one foot while falling out of bounds in Phoenix. Vinnie Testaverde sneaking that football over the goalline, securing Dennis Erickson's demise.

But, none of those moments, good or bad, come anywhere close to seeing Dikembe Mutombo on the ground with that ball in both mitts, shaking the soul right out of my body forever. There's never been any recovering from that moment. It's like, the next year's loss to the Lakers in the first round in four games didn't even matter. That run to the finals against the Bulls only makes the Nuggets loss more infuriating because that was in the 2-year span when Michael Jordan retired. That was our window! Instead, the Houston Rockets snapped up the glory.

Just like Golden State this year, the Denver Nuggets in 1994 gave us nightmares. For some reason, they were average against the rest of the league, but when they played us they could do little wrong. If we could've just eeked past the Nuggets, we would've rolled to a championship. No other team in the league stood a chance. That right there would've been the highlight of my sportslovin' life.

Instead, I've got:

Sonics over Utah in 7 games in 1996 Western Conference Championship
Mariners over New York Yankees in 1995 Divisional Round
Seahawks over Carolina Panthers in 2006 NFC Championship

and in a distant fourth:

Denver Broncos over Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XXXII (because I won 20 dollars in bets with my family due to picking the winning team and the winning point spread)